Preparing the meal

Last night, I talked with my sister-in-law about different issues facing us, such as job concerns, parent concerns, spousal concerns, etc.  While talking about what she faced as a psychologist, she described that all she can do is give the person the tools to change his or her thinking.  She can't make that person actually change, and she can't force the person to want to change.  Rather, she helps them identify their weaknesses or issues, and she provides them with alternative solutions to how they currently address those weaknesses or issues.  She also evaluates each solution with the patient to help that person make a more-informed decision when next faced with the same issue.  For instance, when confronted with flashbacks to battle while dealing with a newborn, a positive alternative solution might be a man talking with his wife about what he is experiencing instead of charging out of the house and disappearing for hours.  She essentially creates a table of options for particularly troublesome issues, and she lets the patient choose the solution.

I've encountered this idea of preparing a mental meal several times in the past month.  For me, one of the most frustrating parts of teaching is disinterest, which, to me, really means that the student is underperforming.  I can see the potential, and I so badly want the student to be interested and maximize his or her potential, but there just isn't the interest.  I've recently learned that many of my students aren't reading the textbook pages I assign.  While my initial reaction was a mixture of frustration and disbelief (again, the dismay of underperforming), I needed to remind myself that my job was to present the meal.  I could not make the student eat.  Yes, the writing assignments were likely harder without reading the book, but that was the student's choice to make.  No matter how much that rubbed me the wrong way or how much it went against what I personally would do, it was not up to me.  Rather, I was there only to present options for mental eating and digesting.  Some gorged, some satiated themselves, and others merely sampled.  I'm realizing the variance is okay and the freedom that comes from that realization will let me become an even better professor.